wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
