shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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