I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
