He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
