At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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