Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
