I want to have your abortion
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
well most of my day revolves around power hour
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
