Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
