All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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