the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
