Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize