i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
