At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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