Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
