Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
