So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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