Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
