Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize