the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
