please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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