i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize