Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
