Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
