I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
