They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
