VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
