@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
