do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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