Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
