I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
