The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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