it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize