my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
