you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
