Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
