do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
