There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize