So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
