Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
