you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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