I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
