i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
