First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
