I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
