I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
