Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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