I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
