So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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