coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
