She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
