make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
