seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
did you just send me my own nude
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
