i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
