nut hugger
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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