she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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