I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize