benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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