batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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