So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize