On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
