I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize